In Sickness and In Health….

Health is wealth! I couldn’t agree more. Just when I thought I was healthy again, I am not. I have got red pustules all over my left arm in what seems to me to be herpes. The pain is excruciating. It’s itchy and is disturbing my sleep. And I feel awful. Just when I thought I was normal again. With the job and treating patients again, I am already on sick leave!!

I spent about nine odd months on bed at home. Except for the time I went for yoga and I thought it was the end of that phase of my life. And now I am facing my worst fears again. Will my chemo ridden frail body be able to handle this viral parasite? How long will it take? Will it have any side effects? The main, please let it not be another bout of hospitalisation.

And, another thing that has been worrisome is that I believe all diseases are due to emotional problems. Cancer being long standings resentments or hurts which are buried inside deep within. I thought I had healed after cancer but with this, I am not so sure.

Thing is I don’t know why I am so sensitive. Small things which most people won’t even perceive I will. Years before close friends know of problems, I know them just by instinct. Like I predicted a colleague’s divorce years before it actually happened. I wasn’t even close to her. But body language and subtle hints like facial expressions go a long way!

And while I have insight into others problems, I can’t deal with my own. I know I resent a lot of things. I feel the family’s presence overbearing and annoying because in my head I am free but physical plane I am anprisoner of my own thoughts!! Though this time round it might well be with the fact that I stumbled upon a snap of CJ and his girlfriend on Facebook. I know he had a girlfriend but never in my wildest dreams did I think I would see a snap of them together. It’s not like I am jealous. I am not. I am upset. Why do I feel him so well on the spiritual plane so far and the physical we aren’t even on the same continent! I am sure the Divine has a weird way of working and while most times I get it, this has me flummoxed!!

Anyway I will work on getting over the setback and becoming freer until then I hope you guys are having a better Sunday than I am!! Cheers!! Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!! I feel you’re doing something fun I hope to read about it. Your happiness will make me happier am sure ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

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5 thoughts on “In Sickness and In Health….

  1. I still don’t think so. I am upset and confused but jealous don’t think so. My fight is with my own self why do I keep seeing him in my meditations when on the physical plane he’s with someone else and I know for a fact?! That sucks! I’ve had boys in the past who I’ve broken up with without two doubts in my head but this is just different!

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  2. I still think there is a seed of jealousy but maybe a leaning more to just wanting a bit more of what you are not able to have. Nothing wrong really with either. But remember…desire causes suffering.
    But I do know a bit about how you are feeling, I think, as I know a woman that I have somewhat of the same connection and she is married.
    But I have no problem agreeing to disagree with you. Lol.
    Hope you are feeling a little better.
    More good vibes being sent to you.

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